revising is HELL

Being Medicated: Keepin’ On Keepin’ On

I am on my third week on Wellbutrin, and so far, it’s still knocking it out of the park. I finished Ch51 last week, and it took me a couple days to edit it to send out to my beta. I actually finished the first editing pass last Friday, but I thought it needed one more, so I decided to do that after work.

Let me tell you, the difference in working with Wellbutrin and working after it’s mostly out of my system is like night and day. I was up until 5 a.m. (after getting off work at about 12:30) and it took me that long to read through a not-quite 7000 word chapter. My attention span was ALL OVER THE PLACE. It was frustrating, and the only thing that kept me from checking out of the attempt was that I’d told my beta I’d get it to her that night.

I gave myself a break over the weekend before diving into Ch52, but it took me until Tuesday to actually start. I’m not managing to write much on my days off–to be honest, I’m still having trouble getting my lazy bum out of bed–but the chapter is already about 1500 words. It’s going well, I think. I’m optimistic that I’ll get the first round revision done before fall. I’m shooting for an October or November release right now, but at the very least before 2019 starts.

*knocks on ALL the wood*

In more practical progress, I’ve made a list of WordPress themes to use for the AFWT website, though I’ll wait until I’ve actually finished the first round revisions before I mess around with installing it on the domain.

On other fronts…well, let’s just say art stuff is still stalled out due to lack of time. I did start working on my Christmas gift prep work for this year–accumulating reference material, brainstorming ideas, shopping around for the supplies that I don’t already have in my considerable collection of crafty junk. I even made a notebook on my iPad to sketch out ideas, though I haven’t actually drawn anything in it yet: see aforementioned lack of time. I’m using Inkflow, which has a terrible name, but is actually a very nice notebook app with a lot of useful features.

I’ve gotta get that in gear, I don’t want to make myself crazy like I did last year, waiting until December to start on the projects and having to stay up until ridiculous hours to get things finished.

*crosses fingers*

So the battery is going out on my phone

It currently only lasts about five minutes unplugged. I’ve had this phone for about three years, I think? An iPhone 5c. It was free with my contract renewal, and it’s been getting slower anyway, so I thought I’d go and see about a new one.

Went to Verizon, and my options, as told to me by the guy behind the counter, are to pay full price outright for a phone (lolno), or pay monthly payments until it’s payed for (it’d take two years to pay for the damn thing). So I said, “You don’t do contract renewal pricing anymore?”

And he said they did but my bill would go up by twenty dollars a month.

So I said that was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard of, who would pay more to be trapped in a contract for two years? And he said it was to keep the non-contracted customers.

But…you don’t want to keep the ones who are willing to be contracted? Like, I could *switch* phone companies right now and get a cheaper phone? Big business logic?!??!!? (Also, they wanted to charge me fifty dollars more for the phone than Apple would have if I bought it outright?!)

I know, I know. “Stop wasting time whining about phones and finish the dang book already.”

I am about halfway done with the revision, though. I…severely doubt I will be able to finish before the new year, unless my muse lights a serious fire under my @$$. I was looking at Ch12 today, and Extremely Large chunks of it will have to be rewritten from scratch now–I will never, ever write another book without figuring out all the worldbuilding details first again–I have basically halted work on my side project (tentatively titled ‘Golden Wolf’) for just that reason. (It’s an asexual romance with wolves who can turn into people, not werewolves, set in small town Texas. I’m planning to do a research trip for it for my birthday, to Boerne, which is tentatively the setting. Haven’t decided whether it will be set in the real town or a fictional version.)

I also figured out the emotional arc for the sp/ace romance. I had been stumped for a conflict, and stupidly ignored that it was right there in the first scene that I live-tweeted last year, because I thought it was going to be a much different story than the one it is supposed to be. Oops. Oh well, I still have a deal of research to do for it anyway. I thought of writing it for NaNoWriMo this year, but I think I’ll actually just work on AFWT instead, see if I can’t finish it before the end of the year. And on that note, I’ll go work on Ch12, but only for an hour, because I have a ton of stuff to do tomorrow, chief of which is going to get the battery replaced on my phone because *makes rude gesture at Verizon*

Revisions Hell: One Month In

Anyone who has ever heard me talk about writing has heard me say this but in case you missed it: I hate revising.

That said, I think I’m doing okay this time? I am exhausted and frustrated and I keep finding really stupid mistakes and I can’t make up my mind about certain details, but…I like the shape the story is taking? Though good freaking lord, will I be so happy when I finally get to the midpoint in the book where I had everything mostly figured out and only need to correct minor continuity changes and typos.

And add Feelings.

That part is probably not going to get easier.

I’m moving along at a decent clip, if not a great one–about one chapter per week. There was a lot of overtime at my job in May, which puts me blessedly ahead financially *knocks on wood* but kind of killed me creatively. I am still recovering from the exhaustion. I know this because I started another side story idea, and have written almost two chapters of it. -_-; That’s bad because it’s literally all spoilers for some important backstory and therefore not something anyone, even my beta reader, can read for a long damn time. I have managed to persuade myself it is okay to spend time on this because it’s bonus material for a future Patreon or whatever thing. Really I should be finishing the first chapter of the second/third book (still haven’t made up my mind on this point) if I’m going to be writing new material, but eh.

Anyway! My agenda today:

1: Clean my frickin house. After spending several weeks in thrall to borderline depressive anxiety episode, my home is a disaster. I hit a wall Monday, hard. Got home from work and spent nearly the entire day in bed because I just could not make myself get up. I felt marginally better Tuesday, but still too tired. But today, I really need to straighten things up.

2: Do that massive reread of the rough draft I’ve been putting off. It started because of the overtime thing, but then it was just because I landed head first in the revising of the first few chapters, and that was involved let me tell you, what with all the new scenes and trying to figure out how to describe the magic stuff more accurately and changing my mind about every tiny detail because who are you talking to? Me, duh.

3: Kidding, I’m not going to have time for anything else, did I tell you how long this book is? It’s frickin long. I had to do a reread of the first four chapters before sending Ch4 to my dear beta reader which took a good two hours. Four chapters. Two hours. I am too long winded. I have accepted this about myself.

Hopefully everyone else will too.

It’s a rough draft!

I have finished the rough draft of my third novel! I am extremely tired now, because this baby clocks in at nearly 265 thousand words! I started this particular book in 2013, as a self-indulgent fantasy romance idea while I was struggling with my previous project, the sadly neglected Firecat. I wrote about ten thousand words before leaving off, but last summer, I was looking though the random files back up to my phone and found it, and thought, “hey, this ain’t half bad, why’d I stop?” And then started writing again.

I have never written so intensely in my life. I used to write at a pace of about 300-500 words a day, and not every day, or even particularly regularly. That was mostly due to problems with anxiety and depression, which made it hard to focus and harder to like anything I produced. But I’ve gotten better about this stuff in the last year, and I guess that lit a spark, because my daily average word count is much closer to 900 words a day, and lately I’m having days where I break 1,500 (on a work day!), or up in the 2-3 thousand on my days off.

Anyway, the book is done, and it is a BEAST. I intended this book originally as a one-shot romance thing, to see if I could write one. It’s not a genre that gets a lot of play from me, since I never really felt it much? But realizing my instinctive rejection of the trappings of romance were a direct result of being almost entirely asexual/aromantic and unable to express this fact for the first 28 years of my life because the vocabulary just wasn’t there really opened me up to the enjoyment of a really good ship, which is…weird, when I stop to think about it sometimes, but whatever?

*shrugs*

So that was the original intention, anyway. Somehow along the way it turned into an epic fantasy in an mid-industrial magic setting? I got really into the setting and the magic and the worldbuilding, and it just sort of happened that way, and the one-shot idea just kept getting longer because I can never seem to be able to gauge exactly how long it’s going to take me to get from point A to point B when I’m writing, and now it’s going to be a trilogy, or possibly a quartet (is that the right word? I have no idea what the term for a four-book series is) because at this point I am seriously considering chopping the first book in half. I won’t know for sure until I’ve done a full read through and fixed the first half (needs a lot of worldbuilding and magic system detailing added) and fixing up the side plot, which I didn’t think up until almost two thirds through the book because I did the thing I always do and got WAY too attached to one of the side characters and had to expand the scope of his story in the book. *BIG sigh*

I love to make things hard on myself, don’t I. But I’m much more satisfied with this idea than the original one. Mostly because it is chock full of my own preferences: Multiple asexual/aromantic relationships! Magical bonding practices! Characters being snarky at each other but also Talking about their Feelings a lot! Epic levels of angst! A protagonist who is going to get called a Mary Sue by SO MANY PEOPLE–I can’t wait. There also ended up being a bunch of kids in this book and I am just as surprised as you are by this fact? Like, I guess I ought to have expected that when I made the setting a school?

*epic shrug*

Okay, so my goal is to be done revising the first book by the end of summer! Maybe sooner if I do end up making it into two books? Regardless, I’m hoping to release the first book early next year. There is a website! There is…nothing there yet! But it exists!

I am crossing my fingers really hard because historically, my record of revising things is 0/2. But I have a really good feeling about this one!

Notes on my other projects! I am planning to start writing the sp/ace romance soon too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to work on both projects at once, and my current project will have to take priority, but I want to try. Comics…are on the back burner for now. We are getting into the busy time of year at work and I just don’t have the energy for art things right now. At some point I am going to seriously consider tightening my belt and getting a part time job so I’ll have time to be more creative, now that I’m not a hyper-nervous, depressed wreck of a human being. I still need to save more money before I can consider that though. Fortunately a side effect of spending all my time writing is that I have no time to go out and spend money anymore, so…soon? ha ha…