asexuality

It’s a rough draft!

I have finished the rough draft of my third novel! I am extremely tired now, because this baby clocks in at nearly 265 thousand words! I started this particular book in 2013, as a self-indulgent fantasy romance idea while I was struggling with my previous project, the sadly neglected Firecat. I wrote about ten thousand words before leaving off, but last summer, I was looking though the random files back up to my phone and found it, and thought, “hey, this ain’t half bad, why’d I stop?” And then started writing again.

I have never written so intensely in my life. I used to write at a pace of about 300-500 words a day, and not every day, or even particularly regularly. That was mostly due to problems with anxiety and depression, which made it hard to focus and harder to like anything I produced. But I’ve gotten better about this stuff in the last year, and I guess that lit a spark, because my daily average word count is much closer to 900 words a day, and lately I’m having days where I break 1,500 (on a work day!), or up in the 2-3 thousand on my days off.

Anyway, the book is done, and it is a BEAST. I intended this book originally as a one-shot romance thing, to see if I could write one. It’s not a genre that gets a lot of play from me, since I never really felt it much? But realizing my instinctive rejection of the trappings of romance were a direct result of being almost entirely asexual/aromantic and unable to express this fact for the first 28 years of my life because the vocabulary just wasn’t there really opened me up to the enjoyment of a really good ship, which is…weird, when I stop to think about it sometimes, but whatever?

*shrugs*

So that was the original intention, anyway. Somehow along the way it turned into an epic fantasy in an mid-industrial magic setting? I got really into the setting and the magic and the worldbuilding, and it just sort of happened that way, and the one-shot idea just kept getting longer because I can never seem to be able to gauge exactly how long it’s going to take me to get from point A to point B when I’m writing, and now it’s going to be a trilogy, or possibly a quartet (is that the right word? I have no idea what the term for a four-book series is) because at this point I am seriously considering chopping the first book in half. I won’t know for sure until I’ve done a full read through and fixed the first half (needs a lot of worldbuilding and magic system detailing added) and fixing up the side plot, which I didn’t think up until almost two thirds through the book because I did the thing I always do and got WAY too attached to one of the side characters and had to expand the scope of his story in the book. *BIG sigh*

I love to make things hard on myself, don’t I. But I’m much more satisfied with this idea than the original one. Mostly because it is chock full of my own preferences: Multiple asexual/aromantic relationships! Magical bonding practices! Characters being snarky at each other but also Talking about their Feelings a lot! Epic levels of angst! A protagonist who is going to get called a Mary Sue by SO MANY PEOPLE–I can’t wait. There also ended up being a bunch of kids in this book and I am just as surprised as you are by this fact? Like, I guess I ought to have expected that when I made the setting a school?

*epic shrug*

Okay, so my goal is to be done revising the first book by the end of summer! Maybe sooner if I do end up making it into two books? Regardless, I’m hoping to release the first book early next year. There is a website! There is…nothing there yet! But it exists!

I am crossing my fingers really hard because historically, my record of revising things is 0/2. But I have a really good feeling about this one!

Notes on my other projects! I am planning to start writing the sp/ace romance soon too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to work on both projects at once, and my current project will have to take priority, but I want to try. Comics…are on the back burner for now. We are getting into the busy time of year at work and I just don’t have the energy for art things right now. At some point I am going to seriously consider tightening my belt and getting a part time job so I’ll have time to be more creative, now that I’m not a hyper-nervous, depressed wreck of a human being. I still need to save more money before I can consider that though. Fortunately a side effect of spending all my time writing is that I have no time to go out and spend money anymore, so…soon? ha ha…

Announcing Candy Colored Sky: The Official Website of J.M. Cowan

Since I may soon be submitting my first fiction, I thought I’d throw together my official site! I gotta say, WordPress has changed a lot since I did this the last time. I think I spent nearly half the day just trying to find a theme that I could work with.

Pashte Throwing Computer

There were several times during the process where this almost happened.

Anyway! The artwork in the header and the illustration in this post were both done by me! I am currently working on a (very infrequently updated) webcomic about dealing with depression, anxiety and ADD while trying to write a novel (with bonus random journal comics); and I’m revising my second novel, a young adult fantasy about a girl who turns into a giant flaming cat. I identify as aromantic and asexual. Here’s a comic I made about that a few years ago.