Took a writing break

Wednesday because I just got off a three day long depressive anxiety episode thing. Could not concentrate on anything to save my life. I was not allowed to write anything before work. I cleaned my kitchen instead, and it felt good, because it really, really needed it.

It was a quiet day at work, surprising for a Wednesday–usually that’s the day everyone is grumpy, or running around like the proverbial headless chicken. I broke my break to jot down a few lines between customers, and ended up thinking about the meeting story of two characters who are only referenced in the book, one of whom is already dead before the story starts (not a spoiler, the main character finds this out very early in the first chapter) and the other of whom does not show up in person until the third book.

And now I have to write this story. -_-; (Eventually. Not now. Even if I wrote it now, I wouldn’t be able to release it any time soon because it wouldn’t make much sense outside the context of the novels.)

BUT…I, uh…may have already jotted down some sections of dialogue? And made up some cultural details to work into the story, since it takes place mostly in a different country than the book…and decided some backstory stuff for both the characters that I hadn’t bothered to think up yet? Oops.

*bangs head against keyboard*

How did what was supposed to be a one-off story idea turn into this giant, epic thing with half a dozen spin off stories? No, don’t answer that, I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I can’t help overthinking everything.

Reading Roundup

So my brain got eaten by my own book, which has prevented me from reading very much of other people’s books lately, so this is not a big list!

Radiance by Catherynne M. Valente
As brilliant as expected, but too sad. I couldn’t really enjoy the awesome, colorful worldbuilding and non-linear storytelling (I super love stories with a ton of backstory that comes out over the course of the book!) because I was too sad about the actual story. *sigh*

Empty Graves by Unpretty
I have never been much of a Superman fan. My whole experience has been the cartoon that came on TV when I was a teenager and the old movies. I saw both of the the new ones that came out recently and they sucked. I’ll probably watch BvS when it comes out on DVD but I suspect I won’t like it either. However, this is a great fic (even if I didn’t get all the villain references) about Martha Kent being a badass mama bear.
Also recommended: Magical Girl Avengers vs. The Moon Nazis which made me laugh.

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster
A reread. Holds up fairly well, except it’s a bit less inspirational when you’re a grownup who lacks the ability to get interested in things because chronic depressive issues and anxiety, which…are not things you just decide not to be one day because you were inspired by something. BUT I loved this book when I was a kid, and it was very nostalgic to reread.

The Girl Who Raced Fairyland by Catherynne M. Valente
I haven’t finished this yet because it’s the last in the series and I’m afraid it’s going to destroy my heart for several days and I do not have time for that right now. I need to finish my own book first.

At some point…

…during a particularly tiring day, you just have to accept that you are not going to be able to get anything done and take a little break from being creative. So I guess I’ll be spending the rest of my night straightening up my room. My desk…is a terrible mess.

messy desk covered with laundry that needs to be put away, books, papers, art supplies, junk food...

Yeah, I’m a slob. Sorry.

It’s because I’ve been crunching my current WIP, tentatively titled A Flower With Thorns, an industrial magic epic fantasy novel that is topping out at nearly 250k words so far. More than twice the number I was expecting…that’s what happens when your one-off fantasy romance idea absorbs the plot of your old epic fantasy series that you never did finish…oops.

So, that’s about a chapter and a half from being done? In the rough draft at least. I still have to go back and add side plot/character sections to the first half of the book, and fix the vague worldbuilding and magic system stuff.

Other stuff on my To Do List:

Think up a name for the indie publishing company that I’m going to self pub this thing under. I’m debating on whether to reuse my old creative business name (Cyborg Butterfly, for which I already own the domain) or think up a new one.

Do my taxes. It’s April, I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIME. *panicked flailing*

Do some frickin art. I wanted to practice drawing more this year, and even started a comic project, which was stalled out by a fierce lump of anxiety/depression in Jan-Feb, and by the time I got out from under that, my brain had been completely devoured by the changes to the novel.

Compose a rough outline for the asexual cooking romance. I have accumulated several recipes, but the male lead needs a name, and I need to do some research about life in a space-faring society. It’s set in the Space Tangerines timeline, so the worldbuilding isn’t a problem, just the sciencey details, which matter a bit more when it’s a text story instead of a comic.

P.S. I did not clean off my desk…I took too long writing this blog post…

So apparently I’m gonna have to write an asexual cooking romance?

I had plans for today, like cleaning out my closet and finishing Ch12 of my current wip, but then SOMEONE tweeted this:

The tweet she tweeted:

And then I wrote the first page of an asexual cooking romance on Twitter. The fact that I was binge-listening to 80’s rock ballads on Youtube all morning should probably shoulder half the blame. which makes it my fault, obviously

At least it will be a short book? I suspect a subject this close to my heart will make it go fast too.

Announcing Candy Colored Sky: The Official Website of J.M. Cowan

Since I may soon be submitting my first fiction, I thought I’d throw together my official site! I gotta say, WordPress has changed a lot since I did this the last time. I think I spent nearly half the day just trying to find a theme that I could work with.

Pashte Throwing Computer

There were several times during the process where this almost happened.

Anyway! The artwork in the header and the illustration in this post were both done by me! I am currently working on a (very infrequently updated) webcomic about dealing with depression, anxiety and ADD while trying to write a novel (with bonus random journal comics); and I’m revising my second novel, a young adult fantasy about a girl who turns into a giant flaming cat. I identify as aromantic and asexual. Here’s a comic I made about that a few years ago.