Being Medicated: Keepin’ On Keepin’ On

I am on my third week on Wellbutrin, and so far, it’s still knocking it out of the park. I finished Ch51 last week, and it took me a couple days to edit it to send out to my beta. I actually finished the first editing pass last Friday, but I thought it needed one more, so I decided to do that after work.

Let me tell you, the difference in working with Wellbutrin and working after it’s mostly out of my system is like night and day. I was up until 5 a.m. (after getting off work at about 12:30) and it took me that long to read through a not-quite 7000 word chapter. My attention span was ALL OVER THE PLACE. It was frustrating, and the only thing that kept me from checking out of the attempt was that I’d told my beta I’d get it to her that night.

I gave myself a break over the weekend before diving into Ch52, but it took me until Tuesday to actually start. I’m not managing to write much on my days off–to be honest, I’m still having trouble getting my lazy bum out of bed–but the chapter is already about 1500 words. It’s going well, I think. I’m optimistic that I’ll get the first round revision done before fall. I’m shooting for an October or November release right now, but at the very least before 2019 starts.

*knocks on ALL the wood*

In more practical progress, I’ve made a list of WordPress themes to use for the AFWT website, though I’ll wait until I’ve actually finished the first round revisions before I mess around with installing it on the domain.

On other fronts…well, let’s just say art stuff is still stalled out due to lack of time. I did start working on my Christmas gift prep work for this year–accumulating reference material, brainstorming ideas, shopping around for the supplies that I don’t already have in my considerable collection of crafty junk. I even made a notebook on my iPad to sketch out ideas, though I haven’t actually drawn anything in it yet: see aforementioned lack of time. I’m using Inkflow, which has a terrible name, but is actually a very nice notebook app with a lot of useful features.

I’ve gotta get that in gear, I don’t want to make myself crazy like I did last year, waiting until December to start on the projects and having to stay up until ridiculous hours to get things finished.

*crosses fingers*

Being Medicated: Productivity is Up!

I have managed to write quite a bit this last week! I am trying not to get too excited, because the placebo effect is a real thing and it can take time to adjust to brain meds, but I haven’t written this regularly or this prolifically in months. I’m nearly done with his chapter, in fact. :D

That’s not to say I’m doing super great or anything. My ability to get up before noon is still hit or miss–to be perfectly honest, it’s mostly miss. But even with an hour or less of writing time on workdays, I have been getting out between 500 and 800 words (the 800 word day was largely typing up what I had written at work the day before, if I’m honest, but it’s no easier getting handwritten stuff into the manuscript than it is typing up new stuff or editing old stuff so it still counts). I have one scene left to finish, and if I can get it down by Tuesday, it’ll be an entire chapter drafted in two weeks!

It took me months to finish the last one!

Anyway: ability to focus has definitely improved. I am currently quite happy with the results, writing-wise. It hasn’t made me significantly less scatter brained in other areas, and I have yet to manage any art-related projects, but that’s mostly a time issue. Working six days a week is…not conducive to the creative hobbies. Just, you know, in case you were wondering. *sigh*

Being Medicated: Progress Update

So I’ve been on the Wellbutrin for a week now. It took a couple days into my vacation to start feeling productive again but Thursday ended up being a pretty good day for writing, about 1,500 words for ch51. I didn’t get anything done Friday (because that wasn’t a vacation day T_T) but I had almost 3k by the end of Sunday, finishing off the climax scene. The scene still needs work but the method of finishing a chapter before fussing over corrections to it is the best way for me to actually finish things.

I didn’t write much this Tuesday but I maintain that’s not really my fault because two of my favorite authors came out with new books ON THE SAME DAY SO RUDE RIGHT DONT THEY KNOW I HAVE A NOVEL OF MY OWN TO FINISH

*exasperated sigh*

But today I managed just shy of 500 words despite only have about 45 minutes of writing time. Which is a lot better than what I’ve been doing. And it was relatively painless work so I’m holding out hope that this new medication will work out.

In other facets of my life, I am still the same scatterbrained space cadet I’ve always been so no change to my work or the fact that I can barely shift my lazy bum out of bed before noon. Still working on that lolsob.

Being Medicated: Productivity, Maybe?

So, Ch50 is edited, sent to my beta, and it was…one of the most painless editing sessions I’ve ever experienced? And I wrote 1100 words today, which is…really good, considering I’ve gotten down maybe 150 on the few days I’ve managed to get up early enough to make writing time for the last couple months. I am not sure whether to ascribe this to the Wellbutrin, or to the fact that I’m on vacation and literally have nothing better to do than spend several hours slouching over my laptop (and no customer service stress to exhaust me, can’t underestimate the value of that). I don’t feel any different? A little light headed, but not enough to affect my actions. I may be a little better able to resist the constant distractions that have prevented me from getting things done recently, though? I think?

The true test will be after I go back to work, I guess. When you only manage to grab an hour or so of regular writing time, distractions are like a death knell to progress. I am still working on getting myself into bed at a reasonable hour though lolsob. I have not managed to get up at a decent hour over the last few days of taking it. (sigh)

Anyway, the climax to this ridiculously long book has begun! I want to keep working, but I think I’m all written out for the day, so it’s probably a good idea to go do something more active and a lot less attention-requiring. Like go to the grocery store. Cause I’ve barely left the house since my vacation started. *shrug*

Being Medicated: Phase Three

Hey, it’s been a while because I am literally the worst at blogging! I keep meaning to post something but my life is so boring I don’t really have much to say. I work, I read, occasionally I manage some writing. (I just completed the draft of Ch50! Thought I was never gonna get it done -_-)

The Zoloft is doing its work. My anxiety is still pretty much gone, my depression is…manageable. The sleepiness is a small problem, made worse by the incessant heat–summers in Texas are no joke, and it makes me so, so tired. Doesn’t help that I get up right in the middle of the day most days, when it’s getting really hot, and then go to work in a place that is like, 90% windows, coolers that blow warm air, and a 550 degree pizza oven–I really hate that thing.

Summer has never really been one of my productive seasons for that reason, unfortunately, but I feel like this year was even less so than usual. I don’t want to complain about my anti-depressants because they’ve made my existence so much better, but the main reason I got on them was so I could be productive again, and aside from the boost I got right after upping my dose, they have…not really done much for that.

If anything, I’ve gotten a bit worse. :/ I’ve been stuck on Ch 50 for months, my brain feels so scattered whenever I try to focus on anything that requires serious concentration, and I’m pretty sure it’s executive dysfunction that keeps me in bed till noon or later nearly every morning.

So on my last follow up appointment, I mentioned to my doctor that I thought I might have ADHD. Long story short: they made me an appointment with a psych nurse, she is leaning towards an ADHD diagnosis (it is apparently difficult to diagnose adult ADHD because there are so many reasons why adults could have attention issues) and I started on medication for it today.

I was leery of doing this because when I was researching long term effects of drug addiction for Woodhaven, I discovered that literally every single ADHD med is on the big, scary list of frequently abused prescription drugs. So yeah. I really do not enjoy taking medicine in the first place, and I think the fact that I faffed about over the issue until I was 36 years old despite being miserable a good 90% of the time says pretty clearly how reluctant I was to take this step, and even though I am glad not to live in a vortex of anxious despair anymore, I kind of resent being dependent on medicine for something that most people take for granted.

Yet here we are. I took my first dose of Wellbutrin about an hour ago. It’s not an ADHD med, but it is used to treat it in situations where stimulant based drugs can’t be used. Hopefully it will help my concentration issues. I’m not sure if it’s doing anything yet, because I slept like crap last night. I’m on vacation this week, so it’s a perfect opportunity to keep track. I’ll keep everyone posted. For now, though, I’m going to laze about in bed a bit longer, because what’s the point of a vacation if you can’t? ;p